Plus Ones, Kids and a Coworker Conundrum

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

I knew it was only a matter of time before we got our engagement photos back from Mitch, so I needed to finalize the guest list. I had to make a few decisions before the guest list would be finalized.

Plus Ones
Many blogs and websites have weighed in on the plus one debate (Huffington Post, Bridal Guide, The Knot and Emily Post) and they all boil down to the same answer: guests who are married, engaged or living together should be invited as a couple. That’s what Mr. PB and I are sticking to for all of our guests, including our bridal party. We are going to be clear when we address our envelopes and we will be putting a “___ seats have been reserved in your honor” line on the RSVP card to help make this clear.

Similar to the plus-one debate, there are plenty of voices out there (Emily Post, The Knot, Wedding Etiquette for Dummies, Martha Stewart) and unlike plus ones, it’s a bit more gray. Some say to take an all or nothing approach, others say just the children in the bridal party and immediate family (if there are any) and others say it’s dependent on the time of the events. The approach that Mr. PB and I are taking for this one is only children in the bridal party or children of bridal party members. Similar to the plus ones, we are going to be using the envelopes and RSVP cards to communicate this.

This is another topic with many opinions (Bridal Guide, Huffington Post, The Knot and Glamour) and the consensus appears to be a few coworkers are best; if you get close to the majority, go for the whole department and invite your boss if you are inviting the whole department. I had a tough time with this one. Mr. PB only had one person from work he wanted to invite and I used to work with her as well so that was easy.

My work was a bit more difficult. Coworker M will serve as DOC on our wedding day, so she’s in along with her husband. From there is where it got a bit more sticky. I work in a department with six other women plus my boss and his secretary. I flip flopped for a while between an all or nothing approach. But I really wanted four of my coworkers to be there – they’re good company, we’ve connected on a personal level and we’ve chatted about the wedding before. The other two, one probably doesn’t even know Mr. PB’s name and the other is extremely new to our department. And I felt it would be awkward to have my boss or his secretary at my wedding. So in the end, I just went with my gut and decided to invite who I would want there, who I would want to share my day with. I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings so when I contacted the four ladies for their addresses, I let them know that I wasn’t planning on inviting the entire department and to keep it on the hush hush.

Are you inviting coworkers to your family? Did you follow etiquette rules for building your guest list or did you go with your gut?

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